Keep Love Open

"I can be your girl but would you love me if I ruled the world?"

478,475 notes

Guy on train:
I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
Me:
*turns up music*
Guy:
I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
Me:
*takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy:
Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Me:
Guy:
Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door:
Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy:
Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
Lady:
*moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me:
Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
Lady cop:
I can make that happen.
Guy:
Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
Lady cop:
And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
Entire train:
*applauds*

26,995 notes

Favorite Movies: T  Incredibles [2004]

No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for… for ten minutes!”

(via ruinedchildhood)

424,337 notes

memewhore:

anagrammaton:

shsl-kouhai:

residentmadscientist:

kidinabearsuit:


An escaped sheep was found with 60 pounds of wool.
Shrek the sheep ran away and hid in a cave in New Zealand for 6 years. When Shrek was finally found in 2004, the sheep had gone unsheared for so long that it had accumulated 60 pounds of wool on its body, enough to make 20 suits! The sheep became famous and even got to meet the Prime Minister. Shrek finally passed away last month at the age of 16.

Its name was Shrek.

too many layers

FUCK

remember when the largest māori protest of all time was held and people walked on foot literally from all across the country to protest the continued government theft of māori land and our ‘leftist’ prime minister refused to meet them, despite meeting this fucking sheep on the steps of parliament literally the day before because i dofuck this sheep

How in the world are you gonna blame that on the sheep lol

memewhore:

anagrammaton:

shsl-kouhai:

residentmadscientist:

kidinabearsuit:

An escaped sheep was found with 60 pounds of wool.

Shrek the sheep ran away and hid in a cave in New Zealand for 6 years. When Shrek was finally found in 2004, the sheep had gone unsheared for so long that it had accumulated 60 pounds of wool on its body, enough to make 20 suits! The sheep became famous and even got to meet the Prime Minister. Shrek finally passed away last month at the age of 16.

Its name was Shrek.

too many layers

FUCK

remember when the largest māori protest of all time was held and people walked on foot literally from all across the country to protest the continued government theft of māori land and our ‘leftist’ prime minister refused to meet them, despite meeting this fucking sheep on the steps of parliament literally the day before because i do

fuck this sheep

How in the world are you gonna blame that on the sheep lol

(Source: silentowl)

409,219 notes

damnaveragesheep:

stripperina:

rachellgmh:

I love that these ladies basically sent these dudes howlers.

At work the other day, a customer tried to take a photo of myself and another dancer, which is explicitly against the rules of our club. I grabbed his phone out of his hand, deleted the pics, and then proceeded to text his parent’s mobile number a message that basically said “I’m at the stripclub and I tried to sneak a picture so now strippers have stolen my phone and are letting you so you know that I’m bad at respecting club rules.”

dude

damnaveragesheep:

stripperina:

rachellgmh:

I love that these ladies basically sent these dudes howlers.

At work the other day, a customer tried to take a photo of myself and another dancer, which is explicitly against the rules of our club. I grabbed his phone out of his hand, deleted the pics, and then proceeded to text his parent’s mobile number a message that basically said “I’m at the stripclub and I tried to sneak a picture so now strippers have stolen my phone and are letting you so you know that I’m bad at respecting club rules.”

dude

(Source: fivetail, via ktopless)